August 02nd, 2021 by Simon Elliott

COVID-19 Coronavirus Review

In July 2021 I jumped on the worldwide bandwagon for the COVID-19 coronavirus. See what I thought and whether I'd recommend it to friends & family in my latest review.

If you've been living under a rock for the last 18 months, you'll probably be safe and well, but the coronavirus has caused a global pandemic which has shut nearly everything down, made it so that we couldn't celebrate Liverpool's first League title win in 30 years and forced everyone to work from home.

Sadly a lot of vulnerable people have also lost their lives or jobs as a result of it. It's not really a laughing matter, but I thought I'd give a bit of a lighthearted review of my experience in the style of my infamous PS5 Platinum Reviews. Stay safe out there everyone!


Overview

  • Release Date: 31st December, 2019
  • Publisher: Chinese Government (?)
  • Developer: Wuhan Lab, China (?)
  • Date Started: 8th July, 2021
  • Date Completed: 19th July, 2021
  • Variant: Unknown, possibly Delta
  • Price: FREE!

The Good

  • I didn't die
  • Natural immunity
  • I lost around 10 lbs in 2 weeks. Best diet plan I've ever had!

The Bad

  • Headaches
  • Fever & sweating constantly
  • Messed up sleeping pattern
  • Loss of taste and smell
  • Most things then smelled like melted plastic
  • Burning feeling in my nose / sinuses
  • Lack of energy, lots of time spent in bed
  • Diarrhea for about a week
  • Cough which lasted for about 3 weeks
  • Track and Trace calling me what seemed like every 5 minutes to make sure I was still isolating

Hardest Part

  • Trying to work from home

Sitting at a computer was particularly difficult with a fever and a headache. I definitely had trouble concentrating and wasn't as productive as I usually am. I tried using my laptop in bed but the heat coming off it just made me sweat even more so I ended up just having to work short shifts then go for a lie down.


Helpful Tips / Bugs / Glitches / Exploits

Make sure you're stocked up on ice lollies (my preference is fruit pastilles) or ice pops. I also went through plenty of Smart water seeing as I couldn't taste anything. I guess the government would suggest getting the vaccine as a helpful tip, but any flu-like virus is going to wipe you out for a few days. If you think you've got the Coronavirus, make sure you go for a really long drive to the nearest castle to test your eyesight before isolating.

Virus Difficulty Rating - 5/10

5/10

I guess it depends on a variety of factors including your age, weight, whether you smoke and how fit and healthy you are. Thankfully I try to keep myself in shape so my symptoms weren't too bad and I was under no danger of dying from it, but it did cause me to waste the best part of 2 weeks of my life so I'd have to give it 5/10 for difficulty.


Recovery Time - 2-3 Weeks

Isolation for 10 days means that's the quickest you're going to get out of it, but if you had a cough it'll probably take a few weeks extra for that to go away and potentially even longer for your smell and taste to come back fully... Unless you're a Man United fan, in which case your taste deserted you long ago and will probably never return.


Virus Enjoyment Rating - 2/10

2/10
Wasn't the best virus I've ever had but you do get a lot of symptoms bundled with it, so I guess it's good value for money when you consider the price.

Overall Virus Rating - 3/10

3/10
I think there are definitely better ways to spend 2 weeks of your life so personally I wouldn't recommend it. Wash your hands and try to avoid licking door knobs wherever possible. Strongly advise against walking around the COVID-19 ward of a hospital, shaking hands with everyone (unless you're the British Prime Minister). Also I think once you've experienced one variant, there's no point in trying out the others as they seem to be a bit of a copy and paste job in terms of symptoms. Best advice is probably just to not get it!
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